The JPAG Show

Episode the Fifty-Eighthe: Dark Lords of the Smith

jpag — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:10:23 +0000

Gentle Listener, have you had an allograft? Because if not, it may be time to consider one. Fully half of this week’s hosts have had that pleasure. And if you don’t think that James Gillard and Randall Smith are deeply jealous of allograftees Wesley Johnson and Todd Smith, well, you just aren’t listening closely enough.

In this episode:
Todd Smith: motorsports enthusiast and expert on first-person perspective ragdoll physics. Also, brother to Randall. Also, better than Randall at Tekken, for which fact the latter offers multiple lame excuses. James offers amazing beer from Ringwood Brewery. Relates an impertinent suggestion from Aaron Kirchhoff, which is quickly quashed. New Gums Day: a huge haul, to be frittered away on spinners and flat-panel HDTVs. Five-pound gummy bears, and the fabulous site hawking them. The Southampton Bicycle Thief scores a hat-trick at James’s expense. Various photographic reconstructions of the crime are immediately collected from the internet and shared for illustrative purposes. New Cypress News, read by Wes. Dragonslayer. Another great date prospect for Wesley.

Related links:

Music:
Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk. New Cypress News music: “Freja’s Breakdown” by Freja Bluegrass Band, available on the Podsafe Music Network.

Episode the Fifty-Seventhe: Butterfly Kisses

jpag — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 20:39:40 +0000

Expecting this episode, Gentle Listener? Hosts E.J. Alcantara and Jon Kehoe know a thing or two about expecting. Meanwhile semi-zombie Wesley Johnson has lately acquainted himself with expectorating stitches. Randall Smith wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he suspects that this wasn’t it.

Note: this episode was recorded prior to Xmas, and thus before New Gums Day was a fantastic reality.

In this episode:
The beauties of Newfoundland, and its historic appeal to regatta fans everywhere, explained by Jon Kehoe. An interesting fact or two about the remarkably high concentration of bars in St. John’s, related. Big news in the Kehoe household: baby en route. E.J. meets the new boss, who turns out to be same as the old boss, in terms of crappy management practice. Also looking forward to fatherhood. Wes looking forward to hamburgers, again. Harrowing stories of stitches and bleeding, related with detachment by Wes. Amusing foreshadowing of the then-unannounced-New Gums Day fundraiser. Dragonslayer! Batman appreciated. iPhone games reviewed by Wes. Assassin’s Creed 2 botches Kirsten Bell’s visage, again.

Episode the Fifty-Sixthe: Southern Shibboleth

jpag — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:02:38 +0000

Wondering what you need to do in order to fit in down in Dixie, Gentle Listener? Hosts James Gillard, Holly Attesi, Dali Dimovski, and Randall Smith deliberate on just this question. Randall opines that Moon Pies are not some kind of membership card for Southerners, nor do you have to be southern to appreciate them for what they are: a chalky, cheap-tasting disaster of a snack that only seems like a positive finish to meals that consist of Spam and canned chili.

Self-christened peanut gallery member Shelley Wunder-Smith wholeheartedly disagrees.

In this episode:
Moonpies, deep-fried pizza, carney food, and other culinary atrocities, considered at arm’s length. Discussion of Left 4 Dead 2, which is hard, apparently; Randall wouldn’t know. An extended bout of Secret Santa grousing, provided gratis by James. Dali divugles deets on JPAG TShirts and the JPAG Shoppe. Dali’s Diaper Change Personal Best Time, marvelous to consider. Assassin’s Creed 2, discussed at length by those as have it. A long expected review of British Sweets, provided.

Episode the Fifty-Fifthe: Damn You, Culture!

jpag — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:19:32 +0000

This episode was recorded just before Halloween, Gentle Listener. That tells you how long it’s been sitting in the soundbooth awaiting editing.

In this episode:
Billy Elliot Robert Mitchell: Wushu enthusiast, but never to be a Star Wars Kid. The Greatest Freakout Ever. Rejected by the Royal Ballet. Learning to lie. The educational scarification involved in acting classes. Living in Germany now. Wes firing up the InsulinFunk podcast. Also about to get ripped for nine grand for emergency gum surgery. Dr. Igor to use a cadaver’s gums. Wes’s fun with Zoosk and Lil Goth. Dragonslayer! Shadow Complex as a consummate time-waster. League of Legends: better than DotA, says Klee. Torchlight still big fun. Wes chastises all PS3 owners who still haven’t bought Uncharted 2; lets slip fixation with Nathan Fillon; leaves to pee. Randall lamenting that Steam achievements don’t transfer to the 360. Idle Thumbs podcast goes away; Randall sad. Randall recounts his time at the pig pickin’. Discussion of the JPAG Secret Santa, and JPAG T-Shirt Design Contest submissions. An amazingly late birthday wish to Ben “Ben Pack” Pack. DJ Hero desperately in need of a practice mode. bitFLIP pimped at the last minute. Go, Josh Hernandez!

Related links:

Episode the Fifty-Thirde: Shup

jpag — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:39:19 +0000

It’s ’round the world this week, with international hosts Alex Beech (Osaka), E.J. Alcantara (recently of Maui), and then Randall Smith (U.S.) and Jordan Wasilka (America’s Hat).

In this episode:
E.J. gets married, and nearly faints in the process. Photos of the events discussed. Then Mr. and Mrs. E.J. go to Maui, the lucky pair of them. An unfortunate turn of luck upon returning: E.J. gets a classy send-off from Activision QA manager. Way to go, jackass. Looking forward to new gig at Squeenix, working on a secure undisclosed project. Guitar Hero Umpty Umpth considered, along with Beatles: Rock Band. Pictures of ridiculously excessive plastic instrument collections and potential animal neglect. G3 gets in trouble for an early Halo 3 ODST embargo. Also gets ridiculed for crappy prose, and ridiculed some more. The multi-fonted banner itself comes in for some criticism. The G3 chief, praised for his initiative and persistence. Nothin’ says leavin’ like somethin’s in the oven. Sound Opinions dissed roundly by Randall; unknown to other hosts. Alex recounts two days at a strangely subdued Tokyo Game Show. Explains the two NIER games, sort of. Meets with publishers at the show, most notably The Behemoth’s Dan Paladin: Dofuss’s face still glows such that he must cover it in front of the people. The question of full price roster-update games considered. Leads directly into fanboy squeeing over Super Street Fighter IV thinly disguised as debate over buying decision. More joystick talk.

Related links:

Episode the Fifty-Seconde: Roll Burrito for Initiative

jpag — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 04:10:18 +0000

You callin’ in the Kevin Kelly? Dayum, Gentle Listener, that’s all you had to say! It is not, however, all our man in Cincinnati Griffin McElroy has to say, nor all to be said by our man in Philly Ben Gilbert, and definitely there is more to the story from our man in Greenville Wesley Johnson. And there’s Randall, too. He ain’t your friend, punchy.

In this episode:
Griffin reveals his descent into geekitude of fantastic proportions, despite his acknowledged misgivings of the intuitively obvious sort. Randall eggs him on. Griffin gets to play D&D with Chris Perkins, inciting the envy of Randall and the puzzled boredom of the rest of the hosts. Kevin Kelly is the man to know if you know what I mean, man. Ben dishes in an E3 retrospective. Oh, the places you’ll go, when you go with Joystiq. The direction and purpose of E3, debated at length. The highlight of E3: Mike Schramm’s Burrito of Fate (detailed in Joystiq Podcast of June 4 2009). Wesley Johnson’s Throat Nodules biopsied, by a nurse with Parkinson’s and this little Italian Mario-lookin’ dude. Wesley barely restrains himself from lewd laughter in front of nurses. Dragonslayer! Batman being enjoyed by Ben and Wes. Randall sits in corner, alone and sad. Wes describes yet another date possibility from his ongoing Zoosk matches. Ben gets to see the Monsters of Podcasting, the lucky bastard. Merlin Mann’s productivity work considered. Wes recounts attending the live GFW podcast at PAX. Turns out Shawn Elliott’s a shy guy. Apparently the old gang still has that podcasting magic, right down to outlandish Hero of the Web segments. The Joystiq Podcast: should it go on the road? If so, the opening acts may even scare away loving mothers.

Related links:

Episode the Fifty-Firste: Full of Passionate Intensity

jpag — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:07:02 +0000

Well, the rigmarole, the brouhaha, and the to-dos with PAX are done, and folks (namely, Wes and Jonah) are settling back into the routine of suffering from swine flu, Gentle Listener. Those of us who did not attend (namely, Richard and Randall) can only dream of how much fun that must be.

In this episode:
A show full of Johnson, and not Barrel Roll. Not Sidequesting either. Mic talk for geeks. Wes producing a walking tour of Greenville. Penny Arcade / PvP D&D podcast Series 3 now going up, and fantastic. Four-person format in place. No Wes filter available to streamline editing, unfortunately. Jonah doing major PAX catchup — witnesses unboxing of NOS Dreamcast, to the amazement of all. The staying power of the Dreamcast and its games considered: a generally positive consensus. Randall scores the greatest Threadless videogame shirt of all time. Wes devours biscuits from Britain, courtesy of Rob Coleman. Randall recounts the unpackaging the pallet of sweets sent his way by James Gillard. Wes shares some of his auto-generated prospects in Zoosk. Best practices in scaring a potential mate the hell away. A Craigslist deal 0n a sweet lapt0p s0me0ne in Ariz0na is saleing. The dish on Wes’s date last week: close cuddling during sappy chick flick Inglourious Basterds. Dragonslayer! Randall played no games, but became geekier. Richard discovers graphic novels, via The Watchmen; also loathes/loves Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. Wesley looking forward to The Men Who Stare at Goats.

Related links:

Episode the Fiftiethe: Coast to Coast

jpag — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:30:56 +0000

When we started this show, Gentle Listener, all we needed was a laugh. A year’s gone by and I’d say we’ve kicked some ass. So look there on the horizon - crestin’ over the hill! It’s hosts Klee Baker, Holly Attesi, Wesley Johnson, Randall Smith, and Nick “Road Warrior” Coffman, comin’ to fit the bill.

In this episode:
A musical tribute from Him to Whom We Often Pay Tribute. Wes getting ready for a hot date. Randall appreciates the redhead factor. Longest pre-intro ever. Holly the proud owner of a brand-new PS3 Slim. Klee adopting machiavellian tactics to win an election. Or Randall thinks he should. Wes accused of credit card fraud, and swears off Huck’s. The New Cypress News. Wes a fan favorite, apparently. Dragonslayer. Klee gets some sweet surround headphones. Zachary Tuttle’s amazing JPAG avatar portrait. Wishlist of avatar accessories. Wes prepping for his trip to PAX, and his first plane voyage. Randall working, a lot. Nick joins late, and regales with tales of travel to roadside attractions. Nick also dissed pretty much every JPAGer along his route, by ignoring them, damn his eyes. Nick’s trip a relationship jumpstarter.

Related links:

Music:
Opening ditty by Justin McElroy. Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk. New Cypress News music: “Freja’s Breakdown” by Freja Bluegrass Band, available on the Podsafe Music Network.

Episode the Forty-Ninthe: Truth in Advertising

jpag — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:17:35 +0000

Your hosts have been through the wringer this week, Gentle Listener. Surgery, moving, suffering through false advertising, watching Plan 9 From Outer Space: is there anything these fellows won’t dare to bring you the JPAG Show? If so, GL, they haven’t found it yet.

In this episode:
Wesley Kirk introduces the show. Dragonslayer. Matt writes his first review, based on five minutes of a bait-and-switch RTS game. Wes attends Rifftrax live, and makes the most of photo opportunities. Zach changing sides in the ever-escalating 7-11 cartel wars, and getting his own place. Randall still playing BF: 1943. Clayton gets lasik surgery, and entertains with tales of eyeflaps, suction cups, lasers, and griping hospital roomies with leaking stents. Sound gets bad, then good, then bad again.

Related links:

Episode the Forty-Eighthe: Sonic Vacation

jpag — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 02:54:02 +0000

Wipe that smug look off your face, Gentle Listener, and while you’re at it you can wipe that *&^% off the walls, too! Hosts Jeffrey Abt, Wesley Johnson, Russ Walsh, Jeff LeClerc, and Randall Smith are here to clean up after you. We are not, however, here to clean up our sound, apparently.

In this episode:
Eff off, JPAG! Meet Jeffrey Abt, a man next to God and a fan of inventive gaming. Also, a fan of his diabetic dog. First donater to the JPAG site, and he wins a kewpie doll, AKA Mainfinger’s Mode 7 CD. Jeff earns more achievements without earning achievements. Randall suggests that Jeff go find a dozen pigeons or so in GTAIV - easy achievement points. Jeff hosts Chicago Game Night #2, full of sweat and beer. Dragonslayer! The McElroys convene pizza night at Giordano’s, prior to seeing Harvey Danger. More complaining about Aaron Kirchhoff’s uncanny achievement collection abilities. The sound gets worse, then better, then worse again. Wes recaps the report from Wizard world. Wes goes to the Harry Potter exhibit.

Related links:

Mainfinger.com

Episode the Forty-Seventhe: Squatter’s Wrongs

jpag — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 03:49:29 +0000

Yes, Gentle Listener, we’ve been sitting on this episode for a while, and that after it took a while to get it recorded. But we’re back now, and with a vengeance! And vengeance is ours, saith hosts Klee Baker, Alex Beech, Wesley Johnson, Mike Suszek, and Randall Smith.

In this episode:
A slow start to a long-delayed episode. Alex teaches children English in Japan, and has taught himself to clench tightly during the school day. For certain reasons Alex does not intend to teach forever. Mike an editor-in-chief at The Wiire, taking his sweet time finishing school. Klee finishing his summer job in the biology department forensically researching ballistic zombie pathogens; preparing for the Manhattan transfer. Wes relates a story of ancient weed. Comics about mice discussed. Wizard World interim update from Wes, delivered. A report from the BSG panel: Edward James Olmos a swell chap. Autograph pricing lamented. Dragonslayer! All about The Wiire: that’s a smoove podcast and pretty site. Dofuss.net perhaps slightly less polished, but fearless and inventive, and featuring fantastic song challenges. A harrowing tale of weightlifting woe: AKA the source of Alex’s nickname. The best games of the decade: a list debated.

Related links:

Episode the Forty-Sixthe: Muffled Laughter

jpag — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:56:42 +0000

If a lifelong dream of yours is to listen to someone podcast into what sounds like a trumpet mute, then brace yourself, Gentle Listener, as you are about to get rocked. Hosts Jordan Wasilka, Matt McCormick, Justin McElroy, Ryan Gan, Chris Hill, Dali Dimovski, and Randall Smith deliver mixed quality audio in great quantities.

In this episode:
Welcome to all. Chris teaches English, maliciously, and thinks often of gaming while biking. Lego games great for all ages. Chris a teacher of Shakespeare. Peanut Gallery laughter. Justin tells us all about his two journalism awards for bidness writing. Why a theater degree is wholly unnecessary. A rude tongue-twister. Sidequesting.com update from Dali and Ryan. Jordan writing a podcast roundup on InsulinFunk, called Weekly Sound Check. Not much of an arguer. Matt catches high blood glucose, most likely from Wesley; now eating six square meals a day. Dragonslayer. Dali decorating the nursery in non-gaming theme; suggestions offered for recovering from this blunder. Randall gets a birthday present: Red Faction: Guerrilla from Dali and the folks at Sidequesting! Ryan should have bought Avatar. New Cypress News. Matt relates a real Dragonslayer, with Cooking Mama. The rest of the hosts feel dumb for complaining about food; fortunately, Shelley brings in brownies to cheer us up. A gaming abecedary. A last admission from Dali regarding photoshop fakery.

Related links:

Gaming Abecedary
American Partnership for Eosinophilic Disorders (the illness Matt’s daughter has)
Jordan’s Weekly Sound Check at InsulinFunk.net
Sidequesting.com’s podcast interview with J. Goldberg of Volition, developer of Red Faction: Guerrilla

Episode the Forty-Fifthe: One Ticket to Portugal, Please

jpag — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:17:37 +0000

If you aren’t filled with loathing for the hole of a town you call your own, Gentle Listener, then listen in as hosts Alexandre Ferreira, Wesley Johnson, Randall Smith, Matt Darrow, and Marie Barnes reveal the wonders of Algarve to you, such that never again will you lie in your own bed in contentment. Just pack up and go tour the joint already, why don’t you?

In this episode:
An opening note from the Internet’s own Matt. M. Alexandre Ferreira, Tourism Policeman, gamer, podcaster, major-league human billboard for Portugal. His Brazilian connection, punctuated by a thunderous exclamation point. Driving wheels considered, both as buying and building options. Matt gets his SF Tournament stick modded. Marie is actually a girl, WoW fools; stop wasting time in the chat channel and start raiding. If you’re Horde, that is; Alliance players need not apply. The dangers of glomping. Dragonslayer. A discussion of the merits of the XBLA Magic: The Gathering game. Wes goes to see his friend Dan Smith AKA “The Listener” play. Advice on how to play in Marie’s D&D campaign, straight from the DM herself. A discussion had re: games that take far too long to play, and piles of gaming shame. The shameful lack of Rock Band in Portugal, and the lack of anything to be done about it. The unfair burden of translation placed on Alex by GTA and a wife who does not speak English.

Related links:

Music:
Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk. Matt’s Announcement Music: “K Lounge” by The Four Bags, available on the Podsafe Music Network.

Episode the Forty-Fourthe: Ham Hatred

jpag — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:21:29 +0000

May we offer you a few cosmic-ray-saturated olives, Gentle Listener? Or perhaps some radioactive matzah bread? Who knows what ethnically/religiously superpowered hijinks will ensue when chosen hosts Wesley Johnson, Jarret Green, Joel Meyerson, Randall Smith, and Tom Johnson take it way past mashugana.

In this episode:
Joel a biochemist, and an electron microscopist specialising in the molecular structure of viruses. Also able to reverse the bat-polarity and track cloaked starships. Joel a Tejas native, now in Maryland. More Five Guys appreciation. Tom a complete apostate for his silly stance on FFVII. Dragonslayer. Joel finds a novel way to play Uncharted with his significant other. Randall changes his mind about Prince of Persia, and changes Jarret’s mind by spoiling the ending. Joel asks about getting back into fighting games. The 2009 Bulwer-Lytton fiction awards, read aloud severally. Jewish Super Heroes considered and admired, more or less. Bible man schlock found amusing. More irritation at the Oak Park Festival Theatre. Game anticipations for 2009. Long Island [re/se]ceding, a fact which does not disturb young Tom Johnson in the slightest. D&D campaign preparing; Wes names his character to connote insecurity.

Related links:

2009 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
Jewish Hero Corps
Bible Man
Oak Park Festival Theatre which Randall detests

Episode the Forty-Thirde: Rigged Games

jpag — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:19:10 +0000

If you’ve ever wondered why you bought that Benadryl, Gentle Listener, then tune in while hosts Wesley Johnson, Zach Tuttle, Russ Walsh, Sam Dixon, and Randall Smith induce aural motion sickness. Nobody’s tough after 110 minutes of this, cargo pants or not.

In this episode: A rocky start, but one that still incites envy, doesn’t it, Gentle Listener? Zach Tuttle an oil rig man, and a 3D modeler to boot. The worst boat ride ever. There are no fish on the ocean floor, people: just buy the drilling equipment already. Zach a fan of derivative beat ‘em ups. Sam recounts his big break in game journalism with some site Wesley has done on the side. Wesley’s throat nodules huge, but hugely benign, to the relief of all. Russ creates the greatest banner ever, featuring a plushie Snufflupagus. The JPAG D&D campaign, and tales of dumb characters from campaigns past. Dragonslayer. Questionable gaming peripherals, and envy-inducing game peripherals. Day of the Tentacle recommended to those who missed it, like Zach and Randall. Appreciation for Justin’s ripping the Double Helix guy a new one. Battlefield Heroes pimped big time. Randall complains about the outdoor theatre in Oak Park.

Related links:

Gamespress.com
Wesley Johnson’s Throat Nodules Facebook Group
El Diablo Coffee Co. in Queen Anne, WA
The JPAG D&D campaign page
Q-Workshop (makers of awesome dice for roleplaying games)
Novint’s Falcon game controller
Oak Park Festival Theatre which Randall detests

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk.

Episode the Forty-Seconde: Here’s the Kicker

jpag — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:07:15 +0000

What happens when Randall leaves the show in the hands of people who run other sites and shows? This episode, that’s what! Hosts Dalibor Dimovski, Chad Boyce, Ben Pack, Clayton Ashley, and Wesley Johnson will try to fill every possible moment of silence with a plug for their sites. Will it work, Gentle Listener?

In this episode: Ben “Ben Pack” Pack is in fact Chris Grant, when it comes to Mass Effect impressions. Chad Boyce is freaking amazing, and has been clean for over three years. Good on ya, mate. iPhone games considered and recommended. InsulinFunk.net named a million times gratuitously. Sidequesting.com named a few times gratuitously. New Cypress News. Dali and Ryan get together in Chicago and drink with a DJ. Chad also a DJ. DJ Hero looking good, actually. Real DJs discussed. Transformers, Megan Fox discussed in a certain tasteless fashion. Other stuff I probably missed.

Related links: NONE! NONE, damn your eyes!

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk. New Cypress News music: “Freja’s Breakdown” by Freja Bluegrass Band, available on the Podsafe Music Network.

Episode the Forty-Firste: Activists

jpag — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 05:35:46 +0000

Prepare to be edumacated and enlightenafied, Gentle Listener, as noted researchers Klee Baker, Wesley Johnson, E.J. Alcantara, Matt McCormick, and Randall Smith dive deep into the mysteries of science, bugs, games, and childish insights.

In this episode: Matt attempts to get Randall to say that he did it perfectly; Randall rolls on. Microbiologist Kyle Baker finishing his sophomore year, researching mass zombification. Quick check re: microbiology chops. Kyle the Bug Nazi a Centipede player of old. Kyle says “intendo.” Kyle henceforward to be known as “Klee.” E.J. works for the Evil Empire. QA lead for Guitar Hero 5, CONFIRMED. The limits of QA feedback roles. E.J.’s favorite tester, and advice for software testers everywhere. A harrowing story of DS COD testing. E.J. is pretty good at drums on GH, except when he sucks. Also good at COD 4. E.J. soon to be married, actually. Wesley’s latest account of dating, and then unsuccessfully lying to precocious children. A recap of Yaris damage. Wes going to PAX. Randall jealous. Matt pledges to attend PAX if Randall does. Randall more unhappy. Dragonslayer — NDAs not included. Reference to Joystiq Podcast 99, when Wes discusses Infamous. Discontent with Prince of Persia. A heartwarming story of a dying child’s wish to murder an animal.

Related links:

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk.

Episode the Fortiethe: Convalescence/ Adolescence

jpag — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:04:32 +0000

Remember that madcap bunch of crazy funsters who were the X3F Fancast Defense Force? No? Well, take it from me, Gentle Listener, that show did exist once upon a time, long before the M.E.A.P., Go! Gaming Giant, or other spinoff franchises. What have they been up to lately? Find out on this episode!

In this episode: The gang’s all here, sort of. The Yaris jumped by a sneaky wall. Horrific run-ins with automatic glass doors. Richard tubercular no more! Randall recovers his dulcimer. Dragonslayer, featuring Holly Attesi. Patrick impressing potential employers with podcasting experience; potentially shooting himself in foot by listing Holly as reference, particularly in that he lists her job as “superhero.” Go! Gaming Giant now has an awesome video show. E3 excitement for 360 owners. Beatles Rock Band controllers — gonna buy that Gretsch, Patrick?

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk.

Episode the Thirty-Ninthe: Gotta Convince ‘Em All

jpag — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 10:12:10 +0000

Once again the show has been left to the likes of not Randall, which effectively means that Alexander Bevier, Dan Diemer, James Gillard, Wesley Johnson, and Jordan Wasilka are calling the shots. And the shots they call will confound and amaze you, Gentle Listener.

In this episode: Jokes, jests, and japes at Randall’s expense. Alexander is not from French, but from Washingtonian. Goes to college on the cheap and writes toward an English degree. Wants to be Leonard Maltin of videogames. Dumb jokes about college names. Meet Alexander: PAX veteran, volunteer, enforcer, and Pokemon proponent. Also loves the single player experience. Dragonslayer. Knockoff toys and t-shirts. UFC game pleases Gillard, who is now resolved to take up mixed martial arts. Infamous discussed. James suggests that this is the year to take the plunge and buy a PS3. Wes agrees. Wii Punch-Out!!! hits the nail on the head, says Dan. The problem of originality in Wii game design. Insulinfunk.net plugged ad nauseum. PSP Go discussion. E3 hopes and fears. Fahrenheit. Dan complains of canine flatulence. Alan Wake debated. Wesley reads from a website. The dietary impacts of teleportation. Spider-man’s powers considered from a realistic perspective. Wes’s diabetic powers imagined at length. Marie’s public/private D&D campaign posting. James big into Public Enemy lately. Other favorite groups discussed. Books about videogames introduced with flair by Alexander. The sad decline of John Romero. Megaman haiku. The Bioshock novel, and Bioshock 2. Ineffectively quieted ukelele strumming my fate in the background.

Related links: • Ryan O’Donnell’s twitter feed • Masters of Doom • EGM Now!

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk.

Episode the Thirty-Eighthe: Burgermeisters

jpag — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:21:32 +0000

Wondering where the show’s been? Working its butt off, that’s where. Fortunately for you, Gentle Listener, hosts Russ Walsh, Matt Darrow, Randall Smith, Richard Elliott, and Wesley Johnson are here to fill the void, late as they are.

In this episode: Matt builds planes, likes fighting games. REALLY likes fighting games. First take of this episode lost in time. Russ crayoning, and a crayoning playground bully. Richard non-plussed by conversation so far. Now running G3 podcast, and writing for Go! Gaming Giant. Also kinda tubercular. Dragonslayers, emotional and otherwise. Five Guys burgers. Terrifying and/or hilarious Youtube videos. Gillard’s bike swiped anew. Parody movies. Gulliver’s Travels: a compendium of excremental onomatopoeia? Swift’s misanthropy exemplified. More food descriptions than you can handle.

Related links: • Five Guys Burgers and Fries • Vin Diesel on helium (Friday Night with Jonathan Ross) • Snuffleupagus’s first terrifying appearance • Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus trailer • Pride and Prejudice and Zombies • Who is Jon Black? (”Gravity” theme from the Joystiq Podcast) • “The Lady’s Dressing Room” (Poem by Jonathan Swift) at Poem of the Week • Zaxby’s

Music: Intro and outro music excerpted from “Shapes” and “Scared Straight,” by The Long Winters. You can find both songs on their CD When I Pretend to Fall. Songs used by permission, courtesy of Barsuk Records. Thanks to both John Roderick of TLW and Emily Alford at Barsuk.